Against all odds

Here I try to do the impossible. List out what qualities a girl should have (being suggested to do so by countless friends, who insist my being single is not a matter of choice alone, but also an offspring of metaphysical inevitability, considering the extent of my being a characteristic connoisseur)

The list, in no particular order of priority, is summarised as follows.

IQ > 135. Glasses are optional, though preferred.

Loves coffee, and ceramic mugs.

Agrees that string theory is the defining theory of the universe, and does not stick to loop quantum gravity.

Accepts "Schrodinger's Cat" as a valid answer to most questions.

Enjoys spontaneous Garfield/XKCD comic strip sprees.

In a Venn Diagram for Musical likings, falls in the intersection of Metal, Rock, Blues, Jazz, Country, Classical and Sufi.

Can sway to Bach and headbang to Horsemen

Loves making Graphs to explain things.

In a bookstore, most likely to be found in Literature, Criticism, General Science, Popular Science, Fantasy, Photography, Culinary, Science Fiction or

Classics section.

Loves cooking.

Likes watching martial arts movies.

Can quote Star Wars in day to day life.

Can speak a foreign language. (Including Klingon)

Rorshach inkblot test answers should be more imaginative than "Butterflies" and "Flowers". "Clouds" is outright inacceptible.

Can play at least one musical instrument.

Swears by Feynman lectures.

Uses phrases from Literature occasionally.

Does not impose upon herself an iterated Prisoner's Dilemma, and asks my opinion directly.

Loves cats. And is definitely not a "Dog" person. For the love of God.

Can speak in Iambic Pentameter for fun.

On a trip to Switzerland, the first thing she want's to see is CERN.

Detests the usage of shorthand, and needless UPPERCASE. Typing like an ORaNGutan oN cOCainE is not cool.

Would prefer to sit behind on a cruiser bike than beside in a luxury car.

Loves making anagrams from roadside billboards.

(more attributes, contrarily sieves that assure my singlehood, shall be added as I recall)

PS: Either all of the above (i.e. a handsome number, atleast) or Scarlett Johansson.

PPS: Hope God reads my blog. (Though heaven doesn't show up on the revolver map)

PPPS: It's gonna be dark for ages, ain't it?

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