The Caffeine Hypothesis

Self note : Coffee prepared in a ceramic "coffee mug" tastes, not to mentions smells, a million times (eschewing exaggeration) better than one made in a "thermally insulating metallic mug". On a scale of 10, with one being an imbecile impossibility and 10 being metaphysical certitude, I personally rate this hypothesis a 9.5, keeping the maximum in a fit of hope and optimism (maybe cynism too), for an incident which far exceeds this one. Not that I think it will, but the prospect of it happening is a thought of stupendous merriment.

Caffeine and Metal, is a juvenile juxtaposition. Or so I allude, after having witnessed it first hand, and second mug. And my allusion is set apart from illusion by the very fact grounded on the terra firma of my love for coffee, which bestows me with the ability to criticise. You cannot criticise what you don't know the bright side of. Then it is just an ad hominem dissection. This nested theory has just 2 exceptions. War, and Chetan Bhagat.

Re entering the first hypothesis, this is the deal. I scythe (I don't use whips, noob) up a mug of coffee in the hostel room, with the precise balance of ingredients and lo, what I have is but a similar tasting brew as compared to what, say Lord KronoS made the other day (Other day is a metaphor for an hour ago). The metallic interference inducing an olfactory aberration (kepping in mind that smell is the major component of taste) is a reality December layed naked in front of me. It DID appear to be funny how no matter what I try, the overall response of my taste buds to any composition of coffee was more or less the same. But the same mixture, at a macroscopic level ofcourse, at home tastes better, and the only difference is that the mug used is a printed sunsign series of Ceramic coffee mugs, and not the allegedly thermally insulating (and now olfactorially isolating) mug with the innards as metallic as its effect is disheartening. Some galactic interference the Bell labs should try to explain, I'd say. I know not if it has any more physiological implications, apart from the psychological deprivation. And I hope not, either. The hints of rust at the bottom of the mug was never quite delightful everytime it disappeared under the deceitful boiling water, and now as I come to think of it, like a summer tempest the horror grips me. Heat accelerates chemical reactions. Water and metal haven't, by history's word, and scientific reassurance, been neutral allies, rather conflicting rivals. And all those coffee sessions, and the finished jars on the shelf, the session markers on the door, the hang, lead me to this day, when I decide the future of the godforsaken mug vermin.

The crack that propagated on its surface in unintended ubiquity will find a deeper root. I plan to hurl it across the balcony. And there is no looking back. I already got a De Motivate series mug by Archies which says about Winning, "If you don't succeed in the first time, its probably because you are a loser". I suggest Lord KronoS to procure a ceramic mug for future caffeine indulgances, for his own benefit, and tasteful bliss. For there are hardly any problems, a cup of strong coffee cannot solve...

S.I.P

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Frankly speaking

Anything. That's what an astute KronoS tells me, blogging is about. Just about anything, no matter how mundane it be, the realms of a blog do not elude the ones who seek it. All and a blog is ONLY as incarcerated by guidelines, as your mind allows it to be. All you have to do is, be true to your motive, and in hierarchy to that, should posses wit as sharp as nascent shrapnel from shattering glassware. And that in itself is an apt summation of an otherwise astronomical list of guidelines for writing.

But its been a while since I've played dead to taking an initiative to write here, so here I am, against all odds, and most distractions, writing in jolly

abandon. * Cringes at the half wit dialogues (from cavern mates' laptop playing dubmass movie) he can't block out because they are too half wit and equally loud *

Its been millenia since lol, lmao and its metaphorical kinsmen called smileys have been lined up as medieval artefacts in a virtual anitiquity outlet. And as oft as my chat partner spelled lol, i grimaced for the action has been far from executed, 2 out of 3 times, and has been sent in a flurry of routine keystrokes, and catalogue of "protocol dictates replies ". The problem I perceive lies in the very foundation of communication online, mundanity. Half the replies, or reply seeking statements come from a well defined list of phrases, which circulate in a redundance glaring out at one who cares to think before typing. And at this rate, half * fears inevitable undercount * the people we chat with can be replaced by a 64 bit program that would randomly generate a reply, from a list of tops 10 options, and will accurately simulate a real person chatting. * Looks furtively for people peeking over shoulder * (Just the scythe sticking out, my bad)

So what I suggest, with all due humility * eyes shining with wisdom *, is to embrace a novel paradigm to converse online, where expressions can acually be conveyed, uninhibited by the jargonic confines of dim witted replies and unjustified lolling to seemingly anti-hillarious * this should be a real word!!! * comments and * rolls eyes * grammatically disemboweled sentences. (Grammar, shalt preach on that later) What one needs to do, is not go looking for "Witticism for

Dummies" or signing up for "SAFL" (Sarcasm as a Foreign Language). All they need is a hypothetical rap, crank, slam or kamikaze crash to their vestigial cognitive faculties. There is NO expression beyond the realm of words. So the next time your friend narrates a story he (yeah alright, feminists, SLASH SHE * no pun intended * ) thinks is funny but it makes you puke your gourmet dinner on your beloved keyboard, rather than lying of a much expected rotflmao, go for a * hits self with mouse on head... twice *. Benefites served : The expression is conveyed as it deseves to be, and you'r still the funny guy.

And no, please do not read this article as a confined " to do " list, diversify. Its not about seemingly funny phrases enclosed in a pair of innocent asterisks, who in all their typographic existence, will not know what they held therein. Its about not limiting the ability to express, just because the crowd, which is usually an assortment of dumb people, do it otherwise. Moreover, there are limited avenues for one to flex their aphorismic abilities. So why not make them, and bring them to our benefit? On a final note, for the time being, realise that your intellect is confined ONLY by your perception of it. Everything else, awaits an explorer, with crystal eyeglass, fluttering cape and a conscience dripping determination. And as I believe, "A word can paint a thousand pictures..."

R.I.P

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VIT's T(h)anksgiving

Had my BEE exam today, for the non-engineers out there, its an acronym for Basic Electrical Engg. Now, the exam went well enough for me not to feel utterly depressed and hopelessly lost, so, quite surprisingly, I was in a good mood after the exam, which jftr, was not predicted, more on that later. What really marked the day was the presence of a real, yeah REAL, BATTLE Tank in the Campus. Picture this, you are walikng down the footpath, under the shade, one hand on the makeshift notes copy, the other clutching and squeezing the imaginary throat of your BEE teacher, and lo, you see a TANK parked in the middle of the crossroads!!! The first reaction is to look around for reinforcements or flankers, but the rust and the fungus accumulated on the flaky exterior of the armour kinda kept you from it. A very quick examination of the road surface around the tank forced me, sadly, to rule out the possibility of it descending (at 9.8m/s-squared of course) from heavens or of it being Ejected from Hell itself.

Anyways, it could wait, and by the look of things, I dont think the TANk itself had much of a choice, there was an exam to 'ace'.

Unsurprisingly, on the way back, the tank was still there, but the presence of 4 Huge yellow cranes circling it kinda gave the whole scenario another dimension to expand into. The TANK was initially parked right in front of the BioTech building, The 'hexagon'. So, when the cranes started to pulll/push the 'Thing' to a less obstructive location, I swear I saw many of the BioTech people crossing their fingers hoping one of the crane controllers might lose control of the tank and thus resulting in an unscheduled razing of the hexagon. but Alas! It was not to be, mostly due to the timely intervention of the uniform clad 'alledged' Army personnel, because honestly, judging by the momentum and the erratic movement of the tank sideways, an early cristmas for the Hexa-goers was quite a possibilty at one point of time......>